The Secret – what time is it on TV? Episode 4 Series 1 cast list and preview". RadioTimes . Retrieved 31 December 2016. Jealousy over friends or colleagues might also denote a relationship that is controlling or even abusive. But in instances where those suspicions are well founded, the truth may emerge only after many painful arguments, denial and even gaslighting. Secret Affair celebrated their 40th anniversary in 2019, with a 14 date April and May tour of the UK. Through therapy, Walter found the self-esteem he needed to end his marriage after his wife’s emotional affair. India, 28, says she is much happier after hers led to a divorce. Likewise, Tanya, 30, says it was a catalyst to end her 10-year relationship: “I’m thoroughly enjoying the independence and growth.”

Chloe is confident the relationship was never physical – but 15 years later it is still enormously hurtful. At the time, they had been married for 12 years and had a three-year-old son. “Before, I thought that pain could only come from a physical betrayal – there wasn’t a rulebook to follow for this type.”What people usually say to me is that the lying and the deceit is worse than the betrayal,” says consultant clinical psychologist, Janice Hiller. “They say, ‘I can’t trust you. You’re not who you say you were.’ That’s the worst thing.” The dentist later changed his plea to guilty ahead of the court case where he was sentenced to a minimum jail term of 21 years in 2010. His former lover Hazel was later tried and was found guilty and sentenced to serve 18 years after Colin Howell gave damning evidence against her and himself at trial. Where is Colin Howell now? They also created their own take on a smart-dressing youth movement - the Glory Boys – based around the idea of 1960s gangster chic, inspired by the movie, Performance.

Confirmation of her ex-partner’s emotional affair made Anneka, 31, feel strangely relieved: “I felt vindicated that I had been right. I’d spent a long time questioning whether I was just being crazy and controlling.” This is where your focus should be. “You need to trust each other enough to be able to say what you’re feeling, why you might be feeling it, and to reach out to the other for help and trust that it will get a response. That’s the level of work that needs to be done. It will take sustained effort over time.” Men tend to question their partners: ‘Have you had sex with that person?’ Women tend to ask: ‘Do you love that person?’ And the unfaithful partner will deny the aspect that’s more hurtful.”

However, Bell challenges the idea that affairs only occur in dysfunctional relationships. Some people in functional relationships are simply more prone to “acting out” their sexual urges than others; and not all dysfunctional relationships occasion affairs. Dr Gayle Brewer, a senior psychology lecturer at the University of Liverpool, says that if our partner is confiding in someone else instead of us, perhaps with intimate details about our relationship, “we tend to view that as a betrayal”. The Secret – what time is it on TV? Episode 3 Series 1 cast list and preview". RadioTimes . Retrieved 31 December 2016. The most prominent figures in The Secret true story, Colin Howell and Hazel Stewart/Buchanan are played by James Nesbitt and Genevieve O’Reilly, who has starred in everything from Spooks to Star Wars and The Young Victoria. And the sensitive subject matter of the drama is something that is especially poignant for James. According to a 2015 YouGov study of 1,660 British adults, 20% of people have been unfaithful to their partner. Of those, 15% said their infidelity had no physical component.

Secret Affair rework mod classic for Save The Children campaign". Walesonline.co.uk. 20 September 2011 . Retrieved 15 November 2017. Much more pronounced than doubts about the relationship was the toll taken on them by day-to-day responsibilities, especially after many years of monogamy. Perhaps an incredibly trusted friend or two, but no more than is absolutely necessary, says Hiller.Phyllis, 58, and her husband are opening up their 20-year marriage to polyamory after admitting to emotional affairs: “I’m not ready to give up the person I’m having an emotional affair with, but I am willing to repair what is broken in my marriage,” she says.

When the third party is often idealised, it is not a fair comparison, says Calvert. “It’s like this big fantasy is created – they seem to understand you, but actually you’re not seeing the whole of them, because you don’t have a full relationship.” The Secret – what time is it on TV? Episode 1 Series 1 cast list and preview". RadioTimes . Retrieved 31 December 2016. Lesley (Colin's wife) receives an inheritance from her father. Colin asphyxiates Lesley and Hazel's husband Trevor whilst they sleep. He then stages a suicide pact. [6] Episode 3 [ edit ] Georgina, 40, says her three-year emotional affair with a colleague was “as intense as a physical affair – perhaps more so. We never even kissed on the mouth. I had never felt closer to anyone.” a b "Secret Affair - Secret Affair Official Merchandise". Secret Affair Official Merchandise . Retrieved 7 April 2016.

However, almost 19 years later after getting away with the appalling crimes for so long, the case was turned on its head when Colin admitted to the murders after the death of his eldest son Matthew. As reported by the Belfast Telegraph, the dentist handed himself into the police and confessed to killing his wife and his lover’s husband with the fumes, claiming that Hazel had helped him. A month later, Colin and Hazel were charged with the crimes, though both allegedly denied the charges. Now their marriage is “better than ever”, says Caitlin. “We remember we do actually like and love each other, and we feel good that we’ve gone through so much together … it just as easily could have been me who had had an emotional affair; things were that bad. We’re grateful that it happened now.” The coroner gives a verdict of suicide. Hazel and Colin continue their relationship, but Hazel feels guilty and can only have sex with Colin whilst heavily drugged. Eventually the relationship ends and they marry new partners. Colin's son Matthew dies. Colin concludes this is a punishment by God. [7] Episode 4 [ edit ] Confronting what is at the root of your emotional affair could reveal the path out of it – and strengthen your relationship, she adds. “Just like physical affairs, emotional affairs give an opportunity to look at the underlying issues, whether that’s within the individual or the relationship. It can be a catalyst for quite a seismic change – but re-establishing trust takes a long time.”